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If you think my last expose was shocking (it sure shut Pyramid down in a
hurry), wait until you hear this:
Many people wonder why blacks are as good as White People at basketball
when in all other sports their performance is so piss-poor. Now the
question many of us hard-core White People ask ourselves when football
season ends and we are forced to watch all this silly bouncing and leaping
about is: how in hell did anyone think of such an absurd game? Why in the
world would it occur to a sane White Man to create a sport where you have
to bounce a big, orange rubber ball around and throw it through a
suspended hoop?
This question festered in the back of my mind for years until the other
day I stumbled upon the answer. I was rummaging around my family's attic
looking for my grandfather's copy of Mein Kampf when I found a 1937 issue
of American Mercury. I started leafing through it and found out the TRUTH
about the origin of basketball.
As everyone knows, basketball was invented in 1908 by a YMCA coach named
Michael Nesmith, who hung fruit baskets at opposite ends of a gymnasium
and gradually developed it into the sport we know today. What has been
left out of the story since the liberals began their crusade against
common sense, decency and truth is that the sport was actually tailored to
the abilities of a half-dozen juvinile delinquent negro boys which had
been dumped into his care when the local reform school became overcrowded.
These boys were causing all sorts of commotion, fighting and carrying on,
and being resentful because the White kids were whipping their black asses
at every sport they tried.
Now Nesmith was getting tired of having to whip them every five minutes
and decided it was going to be a mighty long summer if he didn't find some
way to distract them. So observing their extra-long arms and their simian
knuckle-dragging postures he began to try to figure out a game they would
actually be able to do. Noting that monkeys at the zoo would throw
coconuts at the ground to break them, he decided that this game should
involve a lot of bouncing balls off the floor. There should be a lot of
starting and stopping to take advantage of the traction from their extra
long feet. And, of course, there should be a lot of arm waving and leaping
around. As a final touch he hung the baskets high in the air so they could
hang by their arms from them. Naturally, they excelled at the sport and
their behavior improved.
When the U.S. Department of the Interior caught wind of this new sport,
which so ably domesticated a degenerate crew of darkies, they quickly
passed a law requiring basketball teams to be instated at all black public
schools. How were they to know that in 1995 White People would be forced
to drink out of McDonald's cups with pictures of negroes on them, thanks
to this ridiculous new sport.
You might say that basketball was where affirmative action got started.