Cobb

I truly don't understand Italians. I suppose that's because I have never been able to get one of them drunk enough to confess anything. They seem completely uninterested in impressing anyone for any reason, probably because they keep getting insulted all the time. It's probably not fair that I am thinking of the (rich, WestLA) slob who used to date my sister and a lot of stuff that DeLillo wrote, but I do tend to believe that Italian men can be pretty effed up in the head, especially when it comes to women.

Aussies are the world's friendliest drunks, although they're a bit more bigotted than you would think, especially about people who are not in the room. They can't dance for shit, but that doesn't stop them from trying. Australian food sucks rocks, and what's worse they don't have good foreign restaurants there either. Nevertheless they are great outdoorsy people and have the most intelligent and sophisticated appreciation of sports and wildlife on the planet. They're a bit self-conscious which leavens out their rough edges. In the end, you gotta love 'em.

Kiwis are the most honest and personable people on the planet. They make us all look bad. You won't realize it until you've seen them compare favorably with happy Aussies. New Zealand is probably the only modern place on the planet that requires little or no cynicism and paranoia, and because of this is the exception Kiwis are completely capable of being legitimate lefties. Most of them are too polite to tell us to get over ourselves - on the other hand since they enjoy pristine land at 5 bucks an acre, maybe they're quiet for a reason. Having danced with Maoris, I will never take a tribal marking lightly - which also means I can't take most tatoos I see seriously. I wonder if I will be able to adjust to NZ realities in my lifetime.

Russians are the craftiest fucks in the world. I admire their passion and their appreciation for the tragedy of life. Of all the folks I know, they most closely resemble African Americans in their capacity for subversion and love. I think we are equally subject to the temptations of Bling and perserverance under ordinarily cramped circumstances. We are both poetic and practical people. I do love Russians to death, I only wish I knew one I could trust. Well, actually I do, it's just that I can't find him.

To be continued...

UPDATE:
Brits.
There's a lot I could say about Brits, but I think I'm more persuaded to admire them for who they've been rather than for who they are. In Britain, I see our future, 300 years from now when Wall Street is a subdivision of the Chinese Borse. I mostly meet Brits online when gaming, and what counts for the average Euro counts nicely for the average Brit, which means above all they value fair play and understand the pain of dissolution. Brits, if they didn't invent it, perfected the art of the social drink, and are thus the cause of global drug culture in non-spiritual populations. What could be a greater tribute? I give Brits the most credit for not being particularly swayed by pretty pictures and the invention of the hedgerow. As you can see, it's complicated.

Chinese have had my focus for the past 3 years. I was on my way to spend 6 weeks in Asia in 2001 when certain events took over. I was learning Mandarin, both conversationally and pictogrammatically. What I like most about the Chinese is that they do business with friends in defiance of markets, lawyers and the dignity of the common man. It is of course, their great weakness too, if you don't count gambling. You see, to me, the Chinese represent the idea that a human being is empty clay - that it makes no sense to assume anything positive about them, that uneducated or untrained or unloved that they possess nothing, not even a soul. That the Chinese accepts this emptiness and meaninglessness of himself means that of all people he is the most worldly. Chinese represent the absense of transcendence to me, he is the perfect soldier, the perfect businessman, the perfect chef because without his skill, he is nothing.

It is difficult for me to disentangle my thoughts about the Japanese from what must be common stereotypes by now. Instead, I prefer to think of Japanese Americans who, of all Asians, seem the most American.