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February 16, 2004

Barbershop Guide

Everybody wants to be a critic, especially those of us with more than one email address. So if you're like I used to be, any new black film in theatres represented a golden opportunity to bloviate about the disconnect between black images on film and reality.

In light of the fact that there are so many intense discussions about black film and the images of blacks on film, I have looked for and discovered some ways to alleviate the stress associated with what should otherwise be an enjoyable experience.

Here follows a seven step guide to enjoying the new Cube Vision film, Barbershop 2. I hope you find this guide applicable to other films with black casts as well.

  1. Three words: It's Not Important.
  2. Have more than 10 real black friends.
  3. Recognize that you get no credit for saving somebody else's 7 dollars. No matter how influential your criticism, theatregoers will always say it's their decision.
  4. Resist all temptation to think that you know more than Donald Bogle.
  5. [Try to] write your own damned screenplay.
  6. Understand that whatever film you are watching, it can never be as bad as Bulworth.
  7. Go to see the movie in a non-black neighborhood. If you find yourself laughing at one joke that nobody else gets, you forfeit all rights for crabby criticism.

I used to be plagued by such matters as black images on film. But I applied the Girlfriend Theory. The way to get rid of the undesireable one is to spend all of your attention on the desireable one. Therefore Samuel R. Delany, and all those things... what do they call them? Oh yeah, books.

That doesn't change the fact that I remain ever the critic, I just have a simpler set of standards for film than I have for literature and other ideas. So Barbershop was a lot of fun for me.

For the first time in a while I purchased some new duds for my homeboy suit. This was the day I closed my Irvine deal (the documentation for which I ought to be completing this afternoon, bum) so the entire afternoon was destined to be a sigh of relief. Also, having spent an entire afternoon at Magic Mountain the previous weekend, my defenses against the slacker ethic was kind of weak and pockmarked. So going incognegro felt like a great idea.

I headed to the mall and left the laptop in the trunk. I jumped straight over to Champs and got two XXL athletic shirts for 20 bucks. (USC Trojans, of course). (Two days later I found myself face to face with an old Trojan at the donut shop who informed me that I just missed (insert famous footballer here). I suddenly realized that by donning this athletic gear I am fronting like I'm a fan and must therefore prove myself cognizant from time to time. Damn!) Bought my ticket and changed in the bathroom. Ahh, relaxation.

So what about the movie? It was better than the first one in every way. Plus it didn't have Anthony Anderson, who is not that funny. It still doesn't give a college man a warm feeling inside. I just went to my own long lost barber the other day, and there are always college men in the barbershop, not just old brokedown mens. But what is up with this brother going from a political flunky back to cuttin' heads? That's a pretty sorry career path. But that's about all I can gripe about it, because it was pretty damned funny.

The baggin' scene on the BBQ deck was straight hilarity. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Cedric pulled it off. Even though his character's accent fluctuated back and forth, it was funny enough. But wait, his makeup was pretty f'd up half the time too. They needed to fix that.

Aside from the whole working class ethic which uppity brothers like me find tiring, I think the entire film was on target - so much so that it stands up to being used as examples in political talk which I am sure we'll hear no end of in the near future.

I'm looking forward to Beauty Shop. The franchise is alright.

Posted by mbowen at February 16, 2004 11:02 AM

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Comments

I was a fan of the first film, and have been looking forward to going to see this. Thanks for your review on the flick.

Posted by: djspicerack at February 16, 2004 12:59 PM

I liked the first one a lot, even though I don't meet any of the criteria for writing a review.

I'll have to check out number two. I'm glad you liked it. Most of the reviews I've read have said it's a watered down version of the first one.

Posted by: BTD Greg at February 17, 2004 10:07 AM