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February 06, 2004

Pissing In Public

Yesterday I was down in Huntington Beach for a patio lunch with some of my business partners. As I was returning to my car in the underground parking structure, I remembered that I forgot to take a leak while I was at the cafe. I know there's no lavatory in the parking structure because I checked when I first parked. I had to go before lunch, now I've got a super sized strawberry lemonade in my system too. The dark corners are looking very inviting.

But I don't do it. Still, I can imagine myself doing it on one condition. I'm a Vietnam vet.

I have, you have, we all have been accosted by the obnoxious Vietnam veteran. There he is looking like Grizzly Adams run over by a trash truck. He's a fricking disgusting piss aroma mess. He turns and stares you in the face and says "What the fuck are you looking at, huh? I was in the Delta, I was. Killing fucking gooks, and where were you?" And we turn away and feel sorry for they guy. Worse yet we give them a bit of respect. We let them get away with it. What's wrong with us?

It seems like there are two things in this country that give you a pass to do fuck all. One is marching with MLK and the other is combat duty in 'Nam. I'm getting really tired of these blank checks. Aren't you?

This blank check idea really smacked me in the head a couple days ago when I was hearing something on the radio about Iraqi loyalists to the Baath Party and how hard it was for them to undo their culture and values. Why? Because a lot of them were working under some fascist version of an Iraqi GI Bill. They served in the friggen Republican Guard in the War against Iran! Who the fuck are you looking at, Yankee American Dog!

And suddenly I got this nausea because as long ago as the Iran Iraq War was (what, two, three wars ago?) The Vietnam War was longer ago still. And yet it's dead center of the game of Gotcha in our own presidential election.

FWIW, I bought into it for John McCain, because at least he talked like someone who'd been in the shit. No political mincy boy rhetoric for him. Of course he was bowled over by the unseen powers that be somewhere dwarfing the miniscule powers of public democratic debate - the powers that annointed GW Bush. And I also bought into it for Max Cleland whom I think is one of the best of the good guys.

But you know what, if John Kerry starts talking about Hanoi, I don't know which sound from my mouth will be louder, the screaming or the gurgling of vomit. Not that I don't respect him as a candidate. Loyal Cobb readers will know that I predicted this (sorta) a long time ago. It's just that I'm really tired of this as a litmus test on patriotism, just as I am sick of marching with King as a litmus test on race.

That was another generation. Let it go.

Posted by mbowen at February 6, 2004 11:30 PM

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Comments

The bums are getting too young these days to claim to be Vietnam vets and still get away with it. Had one come up to me in Baltimore with that song-and-dance, and he couldn't have been out of grade school when Hanoi fell. Shame they don't still do drummer-boys in this day-and-age - it could have extended the scam for an extra five-ten years or so for the pan-handlers.

Posted by: Mitch H. at February 9, 2004 07:24 AM

Well tell Bush and Rove not to make patriotism an issue, and smear war heroes like McCain and Cleland. That's the reason you're hearing so much about it from Kerry. Don't blame Democrats for fighting back when their loyalty is constantly being questioned by neocons. The way they trashed Cleland, especially, is so inexusable that I feel it gives Kerry a free pass for the rest of the campaign.

Posted by: don at February 10, 2004 11:44 AM