Cobb: Warning Label

October 02, 2003

Warning Label

A certain big fat idiot forgot to read the label.

Are there any activities that I should not perform while using OxyContin for pain relief?

OxyContin may interfere with your ability to do certain things that require your full attention. You should not drive a car, operate heavy machinery, or do other possibly dangerous activities while taking OxyContin. You should not refer to the race of NFL quarterbacks, answer phonecalls from rednecks while on the air, or pretend to have any intellect, political savvy or taste in clothing while taking OxyContin.

Side effects include oral flatulence, vomitous speech and nauseated audiences. Use only as directed. See your doctor.

Posted by mbowen at October 2, 2003 02:44 PM

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