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March 13, 2003

Least Favored Nation

"There is no end to what a man can accomplish so long as he does not care who gets the credit."
--Robert W. Woodruff

The problem is timing, you see. Everyone agrees with our direction. Many quarrel with our degree of severity. A few just don't like that it's us, of all people. But almost everyone disagrees with the Bush timetable. Let's forget for the moment, that GW and company are more arrogant than a pack of hyenas and somewhat less diplomatic. How about a schedule?

I propose that every 7 years, the United Nations and anybody else who cares about the state of the planet, elect a least favored nation. Halfway into the cycle, the international community wallops the dictator chosen last go round, or celebrates the triumph of reform. Just like the Olympics. The problem is dictatorships, this should be obvious.

I'm clearly not the first person to suggest that dictators can be ranked. Nor does it take any great intelligence to know one when you see one. The trick is how do you get the world to sidle alongside so one isn't percieved as unilateral. Easy. Schedule the hostilies 7 years in advance. Most dictators hang around too long, and they don't listen up. Chances are when they are elected by the International Dictator's Tribunal, if they are ruthless enough, they'll still be around when the world's patience is officially scheduled to end.

Ganging up on poor defenseless dictators can be a wonderful sport. I think everyone will try to outdo each other to send troops of liberation. It could transform war as we know it. Who would dare stand in defiance of the considered opinion of the world, when they are willing to unleash the big, bad Americans on them with all diplomatic bona fides? This is the way to keep the Empire.

 

Posted by mbowen at March 13, 2003 08:04 PM

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